How to get off your a*** and just do it.

I have researched hundreds of ways to motivate people, including myself. The one key thing that I have learnt is that not everyone is motivated in the same way by the same thing. I have gained this knowledge by holding numerous motivational workshops, mentoring people, and working with my clients.

I used to preach that a motivator needs to be positive. But if I am honest, there is nothing that motivates me to exercise than thinking of my muffin tops hanging out over my bikini bottoms!

That is one negative motivator, but it never fails!

So how do you find out what motivates you?

Discover your motivator.

Experiment and find out.

You need to find out what your trigger is to get you off your butt, get you over your fear and/or barrier to do what you need or want to do.

Get ready to experiment big time!

One motivator does not fit all, in fact one motivator may not work for every are in which you need to be motivated.

For example thinking of my muffin tops overhanging my bikini works for exercise but it won’t motivate me to do my admin!

Another fascinating fact about motivation is that there are two kinds: internal and external.

Internal motivators.

Meeting a core need:

I know that one of my needs is to be passionate about what I do. So I do things that I am passionate about. I am motivated to spend time with my family and I am motivated to coach and always will be.

Your internal motivator will link to your core needs (which my clients discover when they work my personal identity program).

Feel good/ feel bad:

When you do the things you need to do that you don’t want to do, how do feel afterwards? Don’t you feel good? And for the few hours/days/months or even years you don’t get around to doing the doing how do you feel, uncomfortable as a minimum, as a maximum real bad? And how much time do you spend beating yourself up because you haven’t done it? Do it fast – diminish the pain – feel good! I rest my case! Keep in the forefront of your mind how you will feel about this particular task.

An example of this for me is: feeling fat ( I should say “feeling fit’ but I am honest to a tee!) I know it’s not positive, but it works by motivating me to exercise and eat healthily.

Another example is: being vain – (moi?) which helps me get to the dentist. I love being able to smile and not having gaping holes or bad teeth.

External motivators.


Health warning needed here! Targets/Goals need to be realistic, yet challenging, otherwise you set yourself up to fail and that is NOT good. If you need help with this, call me.

Financial reward:

This is useful for example; if you want to give up smoking or stop doing something else that costs money. Put the money you would usually spend on this activity in one of those sealed piggy banks, or a glass jar where you can witness it mounting up! Then spend it on something you really want.


If you need it, ask for it. Everyone loves praise, but only authentic praise for a job well done not just lip service.


Once you have done what you needed to do give yourself a treat. Take time out, have a rest, have a facial, manicure, cut throat shave (men only!) something that you wouldn’t normally do, so that you value the reward.


I have dentist phobia due to a bad childhood experience. I have a massive fear of dentists. I always take someone to hold my hand! The same with hospitals – thanks to all of my friends who have helped me with this one! That’s how I motivate myself to keep my teeth healthy.

Doing the bad stuff first:

I hate housework and unfortunately much as I would adore one, I don’t yet have a cleaner. If I want to do something nice during the week I always schedule my housework directly in front of it so I know that I can enjoy myself when I have finished the dreaded cleaning.

A time limit:

Sometimes I don’t have something wonderful enough to do on the day I do my housework, so I set myself up against the clock. I only allow myself to clean the house for two and a half hours max! I then rush round like a lunatic getting it done. It is extremely tight but it gets done and I get the bonus of an increase heart rate so I burn calories too! I also use this when I have admin to do too.

Words of wisdom:

These can be very powerful for me. Two I adore are: “Life is just too short.” and “There are only twenty-four hours in a day, seven days a week.” I use that a lot in my time management sessions. How many of you wish there were more hours in a day? Don’t wait until there are before you do the things in life you want to do, otherwise you’ll never do them.

Reminding myself that “80% is good enough”:

This actually motivates me to stop occasionally, to take time out. As an ex-workaholic who used to be married to my career working 80-hour weeks and having no life except work, I learnt this the hard way by repeatedly burning out. My body just used to give up. I strived for perfection 110% of the time.


I will close this with what I feel is the most common de-motivator:


I’ve already written an article on this, as it is so common. But for now just say to yourself: “It’s impossible to eat an elephant whole, but it is possible if you eat it in bite-sized chunks!”

Try to find out what motivates you and what doesn’t. Then exploit your motivators.

If you need help, you know where I am!

Your motivation?

Life is too short so make the most of it!


Why not try out a taster of “The Personal Identity Program

If you prefer working 1-2-1, then contact me for a free Introductory Session.

I successfully coach clients worldwide, empowering them to win at life, at work and in their relationships. My straight-talking approach gets you where you need to be fast.  About that I am passionate.

If you prefer online programs check out the Win At Life Academy.



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